Sunday, April 19, 2015

Being Present

I have been having a rough time in Kansas. The winter was so cold and races were scarce. It bummed me out, repeatedly. Since I began this lifestyle, the winter was a time to focus on running, do a big running race, recover, and start full fledged tri training. Oh, and attending a big university in my early 30s hasn't exactly been fun, but we'll save that for another day.

My best way to stay motivated is to sign up for a big race. I didn't have that option here. Because of this I formed bad habits over the winter. The worst one being "going through the motions" in training. Showing up, training, but not being 100% present in my own training. Making my body move, but just mentally not in to it. Doing the bare minimum in order to have something to put in to the training log. In addition to that, I drank more often then I normally do. My normal is a few hard ciders on Friday or Saturday, but I found myself having a few on some weeknights, if I had an especially bad day, or even a really good day. Friday and Saturday I would partake, and even some Sundays. My reality check was when I was skipping early morning training because of a hangover. Fortunately, I was quickly able to go back to "my normal" and just a few on Friday or Saturday.

But the real issue still stood of not being present in my own training, and at times not being present in my own life. I was too easily skipping training that I knew had to get done. My time management was going poorly as well. I just didn't know what to do or how to deal anymore. I love triathlon, and this long off-season was slowly killing me. I felt like I was letting down my family, for not giving it my best, and my teammates, for the same reason. I was given a coveted spot on a highly sought after triathlon team, and I wasn't even present in my own training.

After a really amazing 32nd birthday with my family, I gave myself some time to reflect on the situation. I was picked for the team for a reason. Swim Bike Mom believed in me so much she selected me for this team out of 100s of applicants. I need to represent mom triathletes everywhere and the amazing brand that is Swim Bike Mom. I needed to get serious, and be present. I need to be the best me I can be. I know what I am capable of if I am just simply present in my training and racing. Armed with my new Garmin 920xt my husband gave me for my birthday, I snapped out of it, and got serious again.

Like night and day, that next week, my training was great again. Most importantly, I was present in my training again. This 1 mile brick run after a 36 mile bike ride made me hoist my arms up in victory in front of my house

First Sub 7 of the year
I was getting out there again. Not skipping anything, not cutting anything short. I was enjoying the process again, no longer going through the motions. It has been tiring, but feels great to get back out there

Swimming again! I only swam 1 time in February! Back at it, still my worst sport but I will keep coming back

This epiphany of suddenly being back in the present was strange. Where was I mentally for so many months? It made me realize we had to do something really great for the girls, something that would make great memories. We went on a family weekend trip to Great Wolf Lodge. We had so much fun, and I didn't feel one bit guilty for taking a weekend off of training.

Having a blast!
I was worried my shenanigans over the winter might have caused some damage, but even though my scale weight is up a few pounds, my body fat is 20%, pretty good for a woman my age. We did body composition in my Kinesiology class and that was my number. I also got the chance to do a VO2 max test and mine was 45.

I take that as a sign its my time to take control and do things right. Keep training in the same capacity I have been for the past month. Start tri season with the confidence that I am ready. Go to Louisville and finally find my unicorn, sub 14 on that course.

For my team

For my children

For my husband

For my friends

I will be present

Next winter I must find a way to combat this. I must find a way to be present all winter long. Thanks for reading!


  1. i love this!!! you inspire me daily... and part of that is you "own" your behavior and are accountable. that makes for amazing athletes, which you are! proud of you!