Race Recaps- Legends Free State Sprint Tri and El Dorado Lake Sprint Tri

June is coming to an end so I will briefly recap my two races I did this month. Even though they were both sprint the way I raced them was night and day.

Even though I am in crunch time for Muncie 70.3 and putting in 10 hours of training a week, I still enjoy racing as it breaks up the monotony of constantly swimming, biking, and running for hours on end. On second thought, I don't just enjoy racing, I LOVE racing. I can't just exercise to exercise, it needs to have purpose for me, racing gives me that purpose. Every time I hit the pool or the road, it is serving a purpose to me beyond just staying healthy, and that has been what has driven me the past five years. Since I started tri training in June 2010 I have been consistent with my triathlon training because of my love for racing. This is the reason why I was so angry at myself after Legends Free State.

Going in to the race I was already annoyed, the race director put out that there is no race day packet pick-up. Not wanting to get a hotel room, Joel and I drove to the race site 90 minutes away to pick up my packet, and drove 90 minutes home, just to wake up at 2 a.m. the next morning to do it again. Getting in to the state park was hectic, then the almost 2 mile walk from the parking area to transition left me with 7 minutes to set up transition. Fortunately one of my wonderful teammates Therese all the way from Iowa was doing the olympic and she found me setting up transition. This did a 180 on my mood and I was really happy to see her and I was able to smile and be happy for the first time all morning. It was so nice talking to her as we were waiting for the race to start.

Me and Therese pre race

Almost go time

Swim was a wetsuit swim, and I'm getting a lot better at open water swimming, as well as figuring out a wetsuit will actually allow you to float if you let it. Too bad it took me this long to figure that out. I finished somewhere in the middle for one of my better open water swims. The bike was hilly, no surprise there. I biked well and finished towards the front. The run made me question everything in my tri heart though.

Starting the bike

I got to mile 1 on the run, and all of a sudden I didn't want to push anymore. I have had the blues for awhile living here in Kansas, and it just got to me. It was as if all the sadness and all the loneliness hit me at once and I just didn't care anymore. I missed my friends and training partners I had in Georgia. I knew that after the race I would go home to Fort Riley and have no training partners to train with, I just got.........really sad and in that moment of time it didn't feel worth it to push. I literally jogged the rest of the run at an easy pace (for me) and my run split was 25:04, my slowest sprint tri run split ever.

Run

I ended up placing 2nd in age group, 6th overall female. Awards were not ready, they said they would be mailed off by the end of the next week, but it has been 3 weeks and I still haven't received my award in the mail.

But the beer was good, and after Therese finished I got to meet her family and hang out with her for a little while before she had to hit the road back to Iowa.

Yum!

Me and Therese post race

Getting home I couldn't help but to feel immense disappointment in myself. Since my intestine rupture in January 2014 I have been doing good at not being so hard on myself, but this was different, I mentally gave up. I truly couldn't believe I let that happen. The move to Kansas has been good for everyone except me. I am a very positive person, above all I choose happiness, but I have been having a hard time since we moved here. I haven't really found my place here yet, but I am still holding on to hope. I am ecstatic that my husband's career has taken off since we moved here and that he has so much pride in his job now whereas he used to have so much doom and gloom (and chest pain) just getting ready for work every morning. I am truly happy for him and seeing his happiness every day shows me that this move was worth it. Seeing my children happy here brings me so much joy. I know my time will come, I am just getting a bit impatient.

Since I am heavy in to the Muncie 70.3 training cycle I was just going to train through the month of June and try to put this race behind me. Joel could tell it was really bothering me so he encouraged me to do one more sprint tri until Muncie. He was right, I mentally needed to have a good short race before Muncie. I found the El Dorado Lake Sprint Tri taking place two weeks later in south Kansas. They were offering race day packet pick-up so I went ahead and registered.

The next two weeks my training went great. I worked on adapting to the heat and not letting my heart rate spike on hills. I got in a 65 mile bike ride, my longest ride in 2 years. I leaned on my husband and best friend for support. Thankful for technology, I clung to my triathlon friends scattered all over the country. Going in to the race I mentally felt better.

Joel went with me to the El Dorado Sprint Tri. Arriving to the race site I already felt at ease. The atmosphere was happy and relaxed, my first time experiencing this Georgia-type tri atmosphere since moving here. I felt really good and the race hadn't even started yet. I felt ready, and I felt I could be fast today. So dramatically different than I had felt two week prior. I met two triathlon buddies who live in the next town over from me and it was so nice to chat before the swim start. It was a nice, low key race, I had a good feeling about it.

My naturally crazy hair

75 degree lake water meant a wetsuit swim. I had a really good swim. I allowed the wetsuit to let me float and kept my sighting on the buoys. It has taken me this long to learn you can't swim in a lake like a pool. Another great swim for me, this was probably my best open water swim in a sprint. Uphill run to T1 was a good way to get blood pumping in the legs, I was ready to ride! I made a big mistake out of T1, I ran out of the bike in and heard the beep of my chip, noooooo!!!!! The volunteers had me go under the rope to get back in transition and had me run over the bike out timing mat. A volunteer ran alongside me to get my race number so she could run over and get my timing fixed. Joel was spectating along the beginning of the bike course and I tried to tell him what happened but he looked really confused. I rode hard for the 12.5 mile bike ride, in the back of my mind I was worried I might be disqualified for the timing mat mishap. I tried not the think about it. Fun bike course with not too many hills, headwind all the way back.

Swim start

Attempting to tell Joel what happened, he was confused

In T2 I hit the right timing mat this time. I got ready to run in well under a minute. As I was heading out to the run I found the volunteer from the T1 mishap, she told me my timing was fixed. YAY YAY!!! I thanked her 3 or 4 time and have her 2 high fives, I was so happy that my race wasn't over. A few feet out of transition I got a high five from the race director.

High five from race director

Beginning of the run

Joel ran alongside me for a few feet to find out what I was talking about out of T1. I briefly told him the story in 10 seconds and and got a "good luck sweetie I love you" as I hit the running path. I was running well. I felt tired of course, since its a race, but I stayed engaged in the race and kept my pace well under 8 minute miles. There was a big out and back on the run and I realized there were only 2 women in front of me. Most of the run went through the shaded campgrounds. There was a half mile stretch at about 2.3 miles that was exposed but I stared at the ground and kept my run cadence up, know if I looked ahead it might slow my pace. Off of the path there was a sharp left turn to the finish line. For the first time since we moved here, triathlon or running race, I sprinted through the finish line. Even though I was exhausted, I felt an overwhelming feeling of accomplishment. Joel told me I finished 3rd female.

Sprinting to the finish

Talking to Joel while we were waiting for awards, I was all smiles. I felt great, I felt like myself again. I was able to let go what had happen two weeks prior. I learned from it and I moved on.

 The race vibe here was so happy and positive. The race production company is called Oz Endurance, looking forward to doing more of their races.

3rd overall female

15 days to Muncie 70.3. I start my taper on Monday. Can't wait for race day!

Thanks for reading!

Race Recaps-CGSC Triathlon and Bill Snyder Half Marathon

After a very trying, cold, and emotional winter and early spring, this month of May finally brought on the beginning of triathlon season. In addition to that, I also had signed up for a half marathon, out of character for me to do a stand-alone half marathon within triathlon season, but I will admit it this time, I wanted the finisher's medal. The finisher's medal was a purple Powercat, the symbol of Kansas State University. Although I am currently no longer a student at K State, I'm still a huge fan and I bleed purple. No matter my finishing time or how under-trained I was, I wanted that medal.

CGSC Sprint Triathlon took place on May 2nd on Fort Leavenworth, about two hours away. A misunderstanding with registration meant I had to drive out there the day before the race just to register as they were not doing race day registration. Had I known how far off in the cuts Fort Leavenworth was, I would have stayed the night after driving there and back home just to register. Oh well, live and learn.

Race morning was a bit chilly, but not to the point where it was miserable. I liked the very short pool swim, only 200 yards.

Go time!

It had rained all day the day prior, and since it was overcast on race morning the roads were very slick. The bike course had some very challenging climbs, the kind that make you gag going up them. Steep hills up and down. The down hills were a little sketchy for me. I had on my race wheels with Michelin Pro4 race tires, and a few times when I would apply my brakes going down hill I would start to fishtail a bit, which was scary. Toward the end of the bike it started raining and I managed to stay upright.

Loving my new Cannondale Slice

Hubby did an excellent job on my bike fit, I feel powerful and comfortable, a hard combo to achieve

The run course had a few hills but nothing killer, the rain continued throughout the run. It was my first race using Newton tri racers and a little past the 1.5 mile mark I was regretting the purchase. I could feel the hot spots and cuts on my feet and I still had another mile and a half to go. Nothing I could do about it at this point but suck it up. I made a mental note to myself to order some Zoot racers before the next tri. Joel came to the race with me for support and its always awesome to see his smiling face at the finish line. I took off my shoes right after I crossed the finish line to see bloody feet. I put my comfy shoes back on and vowed never to wear the Newton racers again.

On the run

I ended up place 4th female overall and 1st in my age group (30-34)

Awards

My super sherpa

I have since ordered some Zoot racers and I love them. These are the same racers I wore in 2012

Zoot Ultra Kiawi 2.0

The Bill Snyder Highway Half took place on May 23rd. Joel had also registered for the race. Neither one of us trained for the race, but we both wanted the medal. The race took place at K State, which is only a half hour away from us, so the morning routine wasn't too rough. Parking was at the football stadium, since it was a point-to-point race we took a bus to the start line. This was the inaugural race, and for the logistics of a point-to-point race they did a great job. It was nice to do a half marathon with Joel again, the last time we did a half marathon together was 2011. We started together and took this pic right before the start.

The start

We stayed together about the first 2.5 miles, I got ahead and didn't see him again until after the finish. The first 8 miles were on a highway of rolling hills. The long highway was a bit of a mind game. I rarely race with headphones, but just running the highway portion of the race I wish I had brought mine. 

Out on the highway

Around the 8.5 mile mark we headed into town. Around mile 9 I was feeling the consequence of not training for this. My legs started to feel heavy and my pace dropped off. Mile 11 brought us through the Kansas State University campus and a giant hill I literally shuffled up. Finally we made our way back to the football stadium where the finish line was. My official time was 1:49:59.

The finish!

Joel came in a few minutes later at 1:57. I'm so proud of him, he finished in his goal of sub 2 hours, and his longest run leading up to the race was 4 miles. We both earned our Powercat medals

Powercat medals!

I am happy with my finishing time considering the hills and the fact that didn't train. With Muncie 70.3 coming up in a few weeks I have been focusing on the bike lately. My 10 mile training runs for Muncie haven't come up yet, but I still wanted to do the half marathon and see where I was time wise for this distance. This half marathon had almost the same elevation gain as the run course at Muncie 70.3 so now I feel fairly confident I can run sub 2 hours on the run at Muncie 70.3. In 2011, I ran a 2:01 on the run course at Muncie 70.3.

Next up is the Legends Sprint Triathlon on June 7th in Lawrence, Kansas, and then Muncie 70.3 on July 11th.

Thanks for reading!

Closing the School Chapter

This day last week I decided I wasn't going to return to Kansas State University in the fall. I kept it to myself for two days, not even telling Joel. Finally on Wednesday, right before taking off on my evening bike ride, he looked in my eyes and knew something was up, and I told him. He just hugged me and told me he understood.

A lot went in to this decision. I didn't just have a bad day and say that's it, I'm out. This feeling has been building up since the very beginning of the semester. Sometimes we build things up so much in our mind and the reality doesn't match that picture in our head. This was the case with me as a student at Kansas State University. Since I was 19 years old, I wanted to go to K State. I remember being a soldier at Fort Riley, getting ready for my first deployment to Iraq, watching the college students going about their business in Manhattan, envious of them. I was the same age as them, but our lives were as different as night and day.

I have never regretted any of the choices I have made in my life, but there is always that natural curiosity one has if they would have chose a different path. I do know this. If I hadn't joined the Army when I did, I would not have met my soulmate, had my two wonderful daughters, or met my best friend who showed me what it means to have a best friend. For this I will never wish I went to school first.

I always told myself one day, when the time is right, I would be a student a Kansas State University. In preparation I earned my associates degree while Joel was stationed at Fort Stewart, Georgia. When we got orders to come back here to Kansas, I felt this was my sign to go for it. For years I built it up in my head what it would be like to be a student there. I applied for admission and a few weeks later got a letter in the mail granting me admission.

The reality was, being a student at K State was nothing like what I had built up in my head. Within the first few weeks I wanted to drop out. Going to school there was certainly not the nice, challenging, enlightening experience I had built up in my head. I woke up everyday dreading going, I walked around campus with my head hung low. Nobody wanted to talk to me because I was old, in fact, I was older than all my instructors. The homework and studying took time away from my family. Just when I found a healthy balance with triathlon training as to not miss out on time with my family, school work took that away from me. School was making me angry, I found myself snapping at my kids for seemingly no reason at all, they were just being kids. I found myself snapping at my spouse and getting angry at small minuet things. I didn't like what school was doing to me.

This brings me to present day. Why is going to school making me such an angry person? How much longer can I live like this?  Why do I feel like this?

Long solo bike rides are the best time for personal reflection. It was on a long bike ride I realized that since moving to Georgia in Summer 2008, all I have done since then is go to school. I tried really hard when we moved to Georgia to find a job, and there were no jobs, so I went to school. First tech school, then a community college. I am just plain burnt out on school. I miss having a job, I miss going to work. It was on this bike ride I decided not to continue at Kansas State University, and that I will be rejoining the work force.

I started the term at Kansas State University with the best intentions, but the truth is, at this point in my life I'm not able or willing to make school a priority, and I have no shame in admitting that. Every person is different in what they can and can't handle, and I have no shame in admitting this is just something I can't handle right now. Maybe that will change in the future, only time will tell.

Since I told my friends about this decision I have had on outpouring of support and that means so much to me. My friends let me know that no matter what I am not a failure, even when I feel like one.

I'm not bitter or mad about this. I actually feel really happy and content. This doesn't change my fandom for K State. They will still be my favorite sports team and I will continue to attend as many games as I can as a screaming fan.

Thanks for reading!

Being Present

I have been having a rough time in Kansas. The winter was so cold and races were scarce. It bummed me out, repeatedly. Since I began this lifestyle, the winter was a time to focus on running, do a big running race, recover, and start full fledged tri training. Oh, and attending a big university in my early 30s hasn't exactly been fun, but we'll save that for another day.

My best way to stay motivated is to sign up for a big race. I didn't have that option here. Because of this I formed bad habits over the winter. The worst one being "going through the motions" in training. Showing up, training, but not being 100% present in my own training. Making my body move, but just mentally not in to it. Doing the bare minimum in order to have something to put in to the training log. In addition to that, I drank more often then I normally do. My normal is a few hard ciders on Friday or Saturday, but I found myself having a few on some weeknights, if I had an especially bad day, or even a really good day. Friday and Saturday I would partake, and even some Sundays. My reality check was when I was skipping early morning training because of a hangover. Fortunately, I was quickly able to go back to "my normal" and just a few on Friday or Saturday.

But the real issue still stood of not being present in my own training, and at times not being present in my own life. I was too easily skipping training that I knew had to get done. My time management was going poorly as well. I just didn't know what to do or how to deal anymore. I love triathlon, and this long off-season was slowly killing me. I felt like I was letting down my family, for not giving it my best, and my teammates, for the same reason. I was given a coveted spot on a highly sought after triathlon team, and I wasn't even present in my own training.

After a really amazing 32nd birthday with my family, I gave myself some time to reflect on the situation. I was picked for the team for a reason. Swim Bike Mom believed in me so much she selected me for this team out of 100s of applicants. I need to represent mom triathletes everywhere and the amazing brand that is Swim Bike Mom. I needed to get serious, and be present. I need to be the best me I can be. I know what I am capable of if I am just simply present in my training and racing. Armed with my new Garmin 920xt my husband gave me for my birthday, I snapped out of it, and got serious again.

Like night and day, that next week, my training was great again. Most importantly, I was present in my training again. This 1 mile brick run after a 36 mile bike ride made me hoist my arms up in victory in front of my house

First Sub 7 of the year

I was getting out there again. Not skipping anything, not cutting anything short. I was enjoying the process again, no longer going through the motions. It has been tiring, but feels great to get back out there

Swimming again! I only swam 1 time in February! Back at it, still my worst sport but I will keep coming back

This epiphany of suddenly being back in the present was strange. Where was I mentally for so many months? It made me realize we had to do something really great for the girls, something that would make great memories. We went on a family weekend trip to Great Wolf Lodge. We had so much fun, and I didn't feel one bit guilty for taking a weekend off of training.

Having a blast!

I was worried my shenanigans over the winter might have caused some damage, but even though my scale weight is up a few pounds, my body fat is 20%, pretty good for a woman my age. We did body composition in my Kinesiology class and that was my number. I also got the chance to do a VO2 max test and mine was 45.

I take that as a sign its my time to take control and do things right. Keep training in the same capacity I have been for the past month. Start tri season with the confidence that I am ready. Go to Louisville and finally find my unicorn, sub 14 on that course.

For my team

For my children

For my husband

For my friends

I will be present

Next winter I must find a way to combat this. I must find a way to be present all winter long. Thanks for reading!

That escalated quickly

I am in my 6th week of being a student at Kansas State University. A dream that was 10 years in the making. I went from not having much to do to having a whole lot to do in a relatively short time frame. I am still trying to adjust. 12 credit hours is considered full time, and I am taking 8 at the current moment, so slightly over half time. The big thing I wasn't prepared for at all was the university structure.

Community college did not prepare me for university.

SO. MUCH. STUDYING.

I breezed through community college in 2 years with a 3.8 GPA. I was diligent about my work, I worked hard, and I did well. I know my naivety is really showing here, and I am ok with that. I knew university was going to be hard, but I didn't know it was going to be THIS hard. I am taking 2 classes, but with lectures, labs, studios, and exam nights, I am at school 5 days a week. Community college you just go to class, its the same format every time.

Toche!

About 3 weeks in I had a breakdown. One of those rough breakdowns where you cry and ball up your fists and grit your teeth and try to tear through the walls. I was just so overwhelmed, and angry, at myself. Angry at myself I didn't go to college sooner, angry at myself I didn't know how to manage my time better, even angry at myself that I pursued this at my age. I was on the verge of throwing in the towel, quitting, something that isn't "me" at all.

Trying to do this

Joel, and my friends, talked me off the ledge. The comment I received the most was "you have come too far to quit". I knew they were right, but it was hard to think through the tears. I looked back to that hot summer day in Georgia I decided to pursue this adventure. It was August, I was on a morning run, just like I did most morning because of the extreme summer heat in the afternoon, and I abruptly stopped running and paused my Garmin, looking around at the empty loneliness around me. At that moment I decided I was ready to have a career again, and I was finally ready to drop the bitter feelings about what happened with my first career. When I got accepted in to the University, we had a family celebration. Now we all bleed purple

He bleeds purple with me

As with anything new in life it will be an adjustment, but I have to see this through. I want this degree, I want this career. My husband Joel and my best friend Loraine have been nothing but supportive and helping me out with everything. From the start, when going to Kansas State was just an notion, Joel was on board to do whatever he had to for me to be successful. There are challenges with him being active duty Army, but he does everything he can within his power to help me pursue this. Having so many people on my side gives me the hope that I will be able to do this, and one day I will grace the graduation stage in a cap and gown.

Not giving up that easily

Triathlon training hasn't changed, but I can say in a training sense, with school, my training has been better and I get the most of the training time I do have. I have been training and racing triathlon for 5 years, it has been a real constant in my life. Since moving to the Midwest and experiencing winter, a lot of my training has been indoors.

A winter wonderland......all the time

The first triathlon of the year for me is on May 18th, and with Muncie 70.3 on July 11th, and Ironman Louisville on October 11th, I am having fun with my training. I am mixing up base building, tempo work, and speed work in all 3 sports. I love swimming at the Kansas State pool. Its 25 meters and competition cold, I can swim 2000 meters there and still feel fresh because of the cold water.

Pool at Kansas State

I ran a 5k on Valentine's Day, but it wasn't a race to "love". A hilly course, strong 21 mph winds, and below freezing temperatures made for a tough day for a quick run, so I was thrilled with my 23:43 that morning. I placed 3rd in my age group (W30-39). Despite the miserable conditions, we were all happy to be there.

Fun small town 5k

When its bearable to run outside here I really enjoy it. The terrain varies so much and I can really find  perfect routes for my specific goal of that run. I've adapted enough to where high 30s I can now wear capris and long sleeves instead of tights and compression top. I ran 8 hilly miles on Saturday at a 8:23 pace and felt great and feel ready to put in the work for Muncie 70.3 and Ironman Louisville.

Was nice to let my legs breath! Well, lower legs

Here's my biggest tri news, I got a new bike!!!! After 3 years of trying to make the Cervelo P2 work for me, spending 100s on fits and stems, we (Joel and I) decide the best next step to take would be buying a bike with a more compatible frame for my body. We found a 2012 Cannondale Slice 105 that a shop had still in the box for an amazing price so we bought it. My fitting is on Thursday, and yes, the seat post and aerobars need to be trimmed with a saw, I know it looks silly in this pic, but I am so excited about the miles about to be put on this bike.

My new whip!

So that is my life at this current moment in time: school, triathlete, wife, mom, friend. In no particular order, Training is important to me, I make it a priority, but never a priority before my family and friends. The finish line means nothing to me without them there cheering me on, even if they can't be there in person. Honestly I still haven't figured out where school falls in here, but I suppose I will find out. I have yet to miss a homework assignment or fail a test.

Thanks for reading, happy training!

The Lonely Life of a Triathlete

Now that it is 2015 I am embarking on my fifth year of triathlon. I train a lot. Recently on a training run a stark realization occurred to me. It was a cold day, the wind chill was 14 degree. I was dressed appropriately. I paused briefly and stopped my Garmin, I had to put my buff over the sides of my face as the wind was picking up and I was getting that now familiar feeling of the cold just chomping at my face. I looked around, saw the tall grass swaying in the wind, the leaves on the trees still trying desperately to cling to the branches. I could hear the gentle sound of the winds blowing. Not another soul in sight, only me.

Cold day in the Midwest

Its lonely out here. As it has always been.

For the past five years, the majority of my training has been solo. Over the years I have been fortunate to have training partners for brief periods of time in running and swimming. The periods of time I have had training partners are memories I cherish. In addition to that, my husband and my best friend have taken turns riding alongside me on bicycles on long runs (anything over 12 miles) for support. I have always thanked them tremendously, but I don't think they realize just how grateful I have been for this.

It gets lonely. Miles and miles on the road, lap after lap in the pool. I don't particularity enjoy the alone time, its just the way it is, and the way its always been. Driven by my goals, I get out there day after day, alone.

Yar!

Bike rides are probably the worst. Long course triathlon requires hours and hours on the road, and listening to music on the road is too dangerous. Quiet loneliness.

Time to roll

So why I am writing this? My writing is usually positive and upbeat. Its the start of the new year, shouldn't I be writing something encouraging? I'm going somewhere with this.

In the end, it will all be worth it

This is my fifth year of triathlon, and I will be racing my 7th half ironman and 3rd ironman. With the turn of the new year I have noticed an influx in folks registering for ironmans and half ironmans. I love this, the feeling of finishing either distance is an amazing feeling, and I have never quite been able to find the words to describe what it is like to finish an ironman.

It will be lonely, there will be solo long runs, bike rides, and swims. There will be days where the hours of loneliness will make you not even want to bother with it. There will be days where the hours of lonely training will drive you mad. There will be days when you will be training alone and question why you are doing this. In training for long course triathlon, you will discover you are much stronger than you thought you were. Overcoming the loneliness is one of the aspects of mental fitness in triathlon. You can do this.

It won't be easy, but I promise you, it will be worth it

The moment I have no words for